Julie and Gary Herr: Why we walk to end Alzheimer’s disease

Editor’s note: The Vail Daily is running testimonials leading up to the Sept. 23 Walk to End Alzheimer’s in Eagle.

My mother passed away in September at the age of 98 having had dementia since her early 90s. My husband Gary’s father, Wayne, passed away at age 92 with his dementia symptoms beginning in his mid-80s. These were some of the most difficult years of our lives because we just didn’t know where to turn for support. We had to figure things out along the way by trial and error. We want to raise awareness about the disease, remove the associated stigma, and help others navigate the long and painful journey.

Our story begins with Gary’s father who lived on his own in Albuquerque, New Mexico. We were seeing signs of memory issues, but one of the most telling was when we took him to a doctor’s appointment at age 84 and he said emphatically, “I’m not 84, I’m 70!”

Gary was the only caregiver and as the disease progressed, we had to move him to an assisted living facility in Grand Junction to be closer to us. We visited him every weekend, he still was able to drive (so we thought). He was able to make short trips to the grocery store and visit the monument and be in the mountains.

This worked out OK until one day when we had him come to our house for the weekend. When it was time for him to head back to Grand Junction I jokingly said, “You know how to get home right?”

Later that evening we received a phone call from a gentleman who had Wayne at his apartment building in Albuquerque. He was confused but thankfully OK. His wandering tendencies continued, and we ended up having to put him in a memory care facility in Denver. It was so sad when he reached the point where he didn’t always know Gary.

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I am blessed to be part of a large family with eight siblings, and when Mom started to have symptoms, we had honest conversations with our Dad and thankfully we all ended up on the same page. Dad was Mom’s caregiver at home, and we all tried to help.

My two younger brothers lived closer and they could check in often and the rest of us traveled to Missouri as often as possible. In 2019, due to safety concerns, Mom and Dad moved into an assisted living facility where he was still her primary caregiver and they were able to enjoy a lot of independence. Then came COVID-19 and the isolation caused Mom to begin the long spiral down. She was a kind and loving person who handled the disease with humor, and we are grateful for that as we know dementia often comes with devastating behavioral changes.

According to the Alzheimer’s Association, more than 6.7 million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s disease and over 11.5 million people provide for their unpaid care. The cost of caring for those with Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias is estimated to total $345 million in 2023, increasing to nearly $1 trillion (in today’s dollars) by mid-century.

Why we walk:

• We walk for a cure. We don’t want our children and their children to go through what we did. 
• We walk to raise awareness so that others know the right questions to ask and have access to the resources available. 
• We walk to remove the stigma. This is a disease like any other. Your parents aren’t “losing it,” they are sick. 
• We walk as the Herrs, Gary and Julie, in the Rocky Mountain Walk to End Alzheimer’s and invite you all to join us by going to act.alz.org/goto/theherrs. If you’d like to sign up or join a team at the local Rocky Mountain Walk to End Alzheimer’s, go to act.alz.org/rmwalk.