Norton: Be empowered, not entitled
In a world where “What can I get for free?” seems to be a growing mentality, I can’t help but notice the pattern of entitlement and discontent it creates. There’s no better place to observe this than in restaurants, where I’ve occasionally overheard people at nearby tables complaining about a perfectly fine meal, only to get an item comped from the bill.
What’s astonishing is that these diners enjoyed their food, shared laughs, and appeared to be having a wonderful time until the check arrived. It’s as if they felt a moral victory in walking away with something for nothing. But when did getting a free ride become so celebrated, and what does it say about how we approach life?
I’ve thought about this mentality, and one analogy comes to mind: People who sit by a fireplace, expecting heat without ever adding wood to the fire. They expect warmth without contributing any fuel, just like those who expect more from life without ever making deposits of their own.
This notion extends beyond restaurants and fireplaces; it infiltrates many aspects of life. People complain about others who have more or live more luxuriously, begrudging them with their bigger homes, fancier cars, or exotic vacations. But instead of acknowledging the effort it took those people to achieve such success, they resent the fact that they aren’t living that way. It’s a mindset that chooses envy over effort and dissatisfaction over discipline.
This attitude isn’t confined to just a few. I’ve seen it spill over into the workplace, especially in younger or newer salespeople who see top performers taking an afternoon off to golf or fish and wonder, “Why can’t I do that?” What they often fail to see, however, is the years of hard work, rejection and persistence it took for those salespeople to reach a place where they could take that time off without jeopardizing their success. Those new to the field can be quick to judge but slow to recognize the grind that their role models endured. They want the freedom, the rewards and the lifestyle without understanding the discipline, the work ethic, and, yes, even the sacrifices that made it possible.
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Entitlement is alluring because it offers a shortcut that promises reward without investment. But these shortcuts are often illusions that breed dependency rather than fulfillment. People who spend their energy looking for freebies or shortcuts miss out on the deep satisfaction of building something themselves. There’s an empowerment that only comes when you’ve earned what you have; it’s a confidence that isn’t easily shaken, a pride that doesn’t require validation.
In contrast, a “What can I get for free?” mentality robs people of the joy and satisfaction they seek. While they may get temporary wins, a discounted meal here, a small perk there, these victories are hollow. In time, these individuals become disillusioned, wondering why they’re not as happy or fulfilled as those who do the work. They become like those who stare into a fireplace, frustrated that there is no warmth, never realizing that they’ve failed to build a fire worth stoking.
As individuals, we must shift our mentality from “What can I get for free?” to “What can I contribute?” There’s something profoundly rewarding about putting in the wood, the work and the sweat equity, knowing that the warmth you’ll receive isn’t a gift; it’s a return on your investment. We shouldn’t be looking to game the system but rather to engage in it fully, understanding that the most gratifying successes aren’t free. Instead, they result from consistent effort, meaningful contributions, and a commitment to growth.
In the end, life gives us what we put into it. When we start by stacking the logs, fueling the fire with our effort, we can sit back and enjoy the warmth that radiates from our labor. How do you see it? I would love to hear your story at gotonorton@gmail.com. And when we take an empowered approach to life instead of one of entitlement, it really will be a better-than-good-life.
Michael Norton is an author, a personal and professional coach, consultant, trainer, encourager, and motivator of individuals and businesses, working with organizations and associations across multiple industries.
