Norton: Can values at home and work be different?
Last week’s column stirred up a powerful and honest question from Robyn G., who wrote:
“I tried your exercise about defining my top three values, but found myself feeling like I value some things in my personal life, but other things in my professional life. Is it OK to live and work with two sets of values?”
Robyn, thank you for the transparency. And yes, the short answer is absolutely. We’re complex beings living in different spheres of life, and it’s normal for certain values to rise to the surface depending on our environment. What matters more than which values show up is how consistently we live them, because when people know what we stand for, they know how to relate to us. That’s the foundation of strong relationships, at home and at work.
At home, some may emphasize values like faith, family and quiet time. At work, some may lean more heavily on accountability, work ethic and team spirit. The difference isn’t hypocrisy, it’s prioritization. A surgeon doesn’t discard their values when they step into the OR, but their top value in that moment might shift from “family time” to “focus under pressure.”
But in my experience, there are a few values that transcend both worlds — my “top five,” if you will. Whether I’m with my family or leading a team, these values are always present and always guiding me. They are faith, family, friendship, trust and hope.
My faith informs everything I do. It shapes how I lead, serve, love and handle adversity. I don’t expect everyone around me to believe what I believe, but I’ve found that most people, regardless of their belief system, respect consistency and integrity. When I say my faith matters and then live it out through my actions, people know where I stand. That clarity builds trust.
Support Local Journalism
Almost everyone values family, but not everyone is willing to fight for it. My family knows there’s no event, no moment too small, that I would miss. And this value spills over into how I lead my team. We’ve built a family-first culture. When someone has an emergency at home, we rally. We cover for each other. That’s not just “nice.” That’s leadership. That’s modeling values that create loyalty and long-term performance.
True friendship, those people who would drop everything for you, is rare and sacred. I don’t take those relationships lightly. And at work, I believe real friendship can blossom too. It starts with respect, grows through shared effort and deepens through vulnerability. When we care deeply about one another, we go the extra mile, not because we have to, but because we want to.
As far as trust goes, this one’s been a journey. I used to be a “prove it” guy. You had to earn my trust, and good luck doing that. But over time, I realized that leading from suspicion was exhausting for me and everyone around me. Now, I choose to extend trust first. And if it’s broken? I walk away with a clear conscience. That simple shift changed how I lead, and how I live. Trust isn’t just a value; it’s a relational accelerant.
Hope fuels everything. It keeps you going when the odds say stop. And I don’t mean wishful thinking, I mean a deep belief that the best is yet to come. Hope sustains passion, feeds resilience and brings light into the darkest places. For me, that hope ultimately comes from my relationship with Jesus Christ. But even for those who don’t share that faith, I believe that hope is one of the most admirable and magnetic traits in any human being.
Do people know the real you? The version that doesn’t shift with the wind, but stands firm in what they believe. If you’re still figuring out what your top five are, that’s okay. Just don’t leave it to chance. Define them. Live them. Share them.
Because values don’t just guide you, they attract the kind of people you want around you. I would love to hear your values story at gotonorton@gmail.com. And when we understand that our values drive every aspect of our lives, it really will be a better-than-good life.
Michael Norton is an author, a personal and professional coach, consultant, trainer, encourager and motivator of individuals and businesses, working with organizations and associations across multiple industries.
