Cotillion classes teach life skills to Eagle County middle schoolers

As the school year winds down, the tests wrap up and the final concerts and sports competitions are held, there’s just one last thing to do at the area middle schools — host a cotillion.

Cotillion is an educational program that goes beyond books and teaches kids about manners, communication, how to present oneself, shake a hand, select the proper fork at the dinner table, and how to dance socially. Colin Meiring, artistic director for Vail Performing Arts Academy, has been helping to shape Vail Valley youth for the past 23 years through cotillions at four area schools: Vail Christian Academy, Vail Ski and Snowboard Academy, Eagle County Charter Academy and Stone Creek Charter School.

Meiring admits that showing up at the middle schools and telling the kids they are going to learn the foxtrot can be met with some opposition and snickering, but he explains why learning manners, table settings, social dance and so much more can be a huge benefit.

“This is important, in my opinion, so that they are never embarrassed in any situation because having the knowledge and the etiquette is empowering. And I don’t want any kid, especially maybe an Olympian from Vail to be in Europe and be embarrassed and trying to mimic or copy somebody else at the dinner table. Knowing what to do makes them so much more confident in themselves,” Meiring said.

Once the embarrassment factor is understood and the resistance to learn starts to melt away, the kids actually start to have fun with the cotillion course, which is for students in fifth to eighth grade depending on the school.

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“I have all of my paper plates and cups and knives and forks, and I try and make it fun so they do a competition with the stopwatch to see who can set the table in the fastest time,” Meiring said. “I’ll get feedback from parents saying, ‘Oh, my son came home and corrected grandma about the table setting.'”

The cotillion course ends with a day where the kids get to show their skills and practice what they’ve learned with a dance and a four-course meal. The students are taught five dances: foxtrot, tango, swing, salsa and waltz. Before each dance with a new partner, the students are taught to look each other in the eye, introduce themselves, shake hands and start the dance.

“The reason why we incorporate dance is because it teaches kids to respect each other’s space, boundaries, compromise, lead, follow and to be kind,” Meiring said.

At each school, the parents are invited to watch the dance portion at the school in the morning and Meiring said sometimes siblings who also took cotillion come to watch their younger brothers and sisters. Molly Brown, principal and the Eagle County Charter Academy, has been around for all 23 years of the school participating in the cotillion course and explains why this is a special time for families.

“One of the important pieces of this tradition is that it’s a milestone moment. It’s the first time they get to see their child step into the role of a young adult,” Brown said.

At the end of the student partner dance, there’s a father-daughter dance and a mother-son dance. But then, the kids are back on their own and off to the dinner table. This year, the four-course meal was held at the new Trails End restaurant, located in the Lionsquare Lodge in Lionshead and operated by father-son restaurateurs Brian and Wil Nolan.

Brian Nolan has been around since the first cotillion when he owned the Beaver Creek Chophouse.

“The staff loved it and it was so fun to see the kids enjoy this big experience and using what they learned,” Brian Nolan said. “It’s a community event and we love doing this type of thing. It’s what we love about living in a small town.”

As a student growing up in Eagle County, Wil Nolan went through the cotillion program and is now finding himself on the other side as a restaurant owner watching the next generation.

“It’s fun to relive this, and even today, when I talk to classmates, cotillion remains a powerful thing. Everybody remembers it very vividly, everybody remembers the manners they learned and having a dance card and dancing with people they didn’t know as well,” Wil Nolan said. “It’s wonderful to see.”

The day is filled with surprise and smiles from the students realizing not only what they’ve learned but also what they’ve gained by leaning into this experience.

“My favorite part about cotillion was probably the hip-hop dance and the food. I also liked learning manners and how to set the table,” said June Bonati, of Eagle County Charter Academy.

“I learned how to have good posture, poise and the moves for all the five different dances,” said Jackson Rose Blankenship with Vail Christian Academy. “It was also nice to do something outside of the classroom and learn how to be respectful and treat everyone with kindness.”

When it’s all done, the gratitude is flowing and Meiring has proved once again that manners matter.

“Our tag line is, ‘put down the phone and pick up the knife and fork,'” Meiring said. “Academics will get you in the door. But how you conduct yourself and how you get on with the people you’re working with, that’s where your success lies.”