Opinion | Norton: Gratitude, the great equalizer

Few topics have received more attention over the years than gratitude. Books have been written about it, studies have measured it, and social media is filled with gratitude challenges encouraging us to write down three things each day for which we are thankful. Many people have faithfully done exactly that for years.

The idea is simple. The more intentionally we focus on what we have, instead of what we lack, the more grateful we become. Over time, our gratitude bucket fills to the point that when life bumps into us, what spills out is appreciation instead of frustration.

I love that image.

The problem is that somewhere along the way, gratitude has become so common that it can sometimes lose its sincerity. We say, “Thank you,” almost out of habit, sometimes without really meaning it. Worse yet, we’ve all heard someone say, “Well, thank you very much,” in a tone that communicates anything but gratitude. The words say one thing, the heart says another.

If I’m honest, I’ve probably been guilty of that myself from time to time.

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Which brings me back to the bucket.

What good is trying to fill a gratitude bucket if it’s full of holes? We can pour appreciation into it every morning, but if we spend the rest of the day complaining about traffic, the weather, slow internet, long lines, delayed flights or the fact that our coffee is just a little too hot, that bucket never stays full for very long.

I have watched groups of friends gather over coffee, only to spend the first 15 minutes complaining that the coffee is too hot to drink. It eventually cools, by the way. Imagine that. Meanwhile, they completely miss the gift of simply being together.

Golfers are another interesting bunch. I say that affectionately because I am one. It’s amazing how quickly a beautiful day on a gorgeous course with good friends can be overshadowed because the group ahead is playing a little slowly. Never mind that we’ll still finish in four hours. Sometimes our frustration over one small inconvenience robs us of the gratitude we should feel for everything else.

Life works much the same way.

Gratitude is one of the great equalizers in life. It doesn’t erase hardship, disappointment or loss, but it changes how we experience them. It shifts our perspective from what is missing to what remains. It reminds us that even on difficult days, there is almost always something worth celebrating.

Zig Ziglar once said, “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.” I have always loved that quote. When our attitude is rooted in gratitude, we discover that success is measured by far more than titles, possessions or accomplishments. We begin to appreciate where we are, even while pursuing where we hope to go.

There is nothing wrong with dreaming bigger, climbing higher or moving faster. Just don’t let those aspirations convince you that joy lives somewhere out in the future. Gratitude has a wonderful way of reminding us that much of what we once prayed for is already sitting right in front of us.

Last week, I wrote about perspective and the view from our window. This week, while writing this column, I looked up, hoping someone would clear the overgrown woods beside our home. Instead, I noticed a brilliant sunflower in bloom. My perspective shifted, and so did my gratitude bucket.

In an instant, my perspective changed. Instead of noticing what needed to be cut away, I noticed what had been growing all along. One small sunflower filled a little more of my gratitude bucket and reminded me that appreciation often begins when we simply choose to look for what is beautiful instead of what is bothersome.

So, how is your gratitude bucket these days? Is it full and overflowing, or has it developed a few leaks? If so, maybe it’s time to patch the holes. Or maybe it’s time for a brand-new bucket. I would love to hear your story at gotonorton@gmail.com. Because when gratitude becomes more than something we say, when it becomes the way we live, it truly becomes one of life’s great equalizers. And that sounds like a better-than-good life to me.

Michael Norton is an author, a personal and professional coach, consultant, trainer, encourager, and motivator of individuals and businesses, working with organizations and associations across multiple industries.